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1. The curate and the Mountebank A priest is in the confessional and a penitent goes. -You're not from this parish, are you? I haven't seen you before. -No, Father, I'm a circus artist who just arrived. -And what do you do in the circus? -I am mountebank. -And what is that? -Wait for a demonstration.
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Hilarious Catholic Priest Jokes curated just for you, like: What do Catholic priests and the Zika Virus have in common? They both give kids a little head.
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Conclusion: Best Catholic Priest Jokes: Holy Water Balloon: Why did the Catholic priest carry a water balloon to church? In case he needed to perform a "holy water balloon fight" during the sermon! Speeding Confession: Why did the Catholic priest become a race car driver? He could confess sins at lightning speed!
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A: God gave him some tablets. If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, What would she do for a Klondike bar? Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church? A: Only half the congregation is kneeling. Working for the Lord, don't pay much, but the benefits are out of this world. Q: What do you call a detective from the reformation?
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Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Priest. (Priest who?) Priest open the door, I've come to bless your new home! What do you get when you cross a priest with a dressmaker? Someone that cries "Be gown, Satin!" Did you hear about the priest who gave his congregation noodles instead of wafers for communion? He was a Ramen Catholic.
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by Jay January 18, 2022 Priest jokes are often considered to be dirty or offensive for their off-color content. They are usually told in a teasing manner by children about priests, nuns, and other religious figures. Some adults tell priest jokes in an effort to be funny while others do it to make fun of religion.
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St. Peter: "The Catholic Church.. Never heard of it.. Wait, I'll check with the boss.". St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with God. St. Peter: "There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your representative on earth.". God: "I don't have a representative on earth, not that I know of..
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The best priest jokes A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'" the woman said embarrassingly. "That's obscene!"
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Top 100 Priest Jokes: Why did the priest go to the gym? He wanted to exercise his "faith" muscles! What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law! Why did the priest carry a pencil and paper? He wanted to "draw" people closer to God! How do priests stay cool in the summer? They use their "pray-per" fans!
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"How dare you! I am a man. upvote downvote report This joke may contain profanity. ๐ค I am over 18 A priest hooks a huge fish A priest hooks a huge fish Helping him reel it in, a sailor says "Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!". "Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.
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3 priests are out fishing on a boat.. One of them says "We should confess our sins to one another." The first one says "I have a gambling problem, I sneak out at night and gamble away all my money.. The second one says "I have an addiction to porn and can't stop looking at it." The third one says "I am a gossip and.
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Rest assured that the vast majority will focus on the various hilarious situations a priest may find himself in. Please keep in mind that all the jokes on this page are meant to be in good fun. At the end of the day, the vast majority of priests are some of the best people you can know. *** Great priest joke: the priest's parrots ***
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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi are debating who is the best at their job. They decide to each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. After a week, they meet up again. The priest, looking a bit roughed up, says, "I found a bear by the river and started talking to him about the Lord.
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"What are you doing?!" Exclaims the priest "There is nothing on this Earth for me." The Muslim says "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!" The priest shakes his head "Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" He says "Follow me, Ill take you to the. Why are catholic priests called father?
Funny Pun Joke What do you call a priest that a lawyer A father
Jokes About Priest Why don't priests solve math problems? Because they prefer to divide and conquer! Why did the priest become a chef? Because he kneaded a new vocation! How do priests communicate with each other? They use "pray-per" technology! What did the priest say to the comedian? "Holy laughter, Batman!"
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Yo mama so silly, she thought that the lord would not forgive her sins! A man goes to confession and he says: "Father, I am assailed by evil thoughts.". "We're all assailed by evil thoughts." says the priest. "It's the human condition. It's only a sin if you entertain them.". "Well, they rather entertain me.".